why i need to serve.

a lot of people ask me why i decided to serve a mission. a lot of people tell me i'm stupid for leaving my boyfriend of a year and that i should just stay here and get married. a lot of people tell me i'm crazy for going. but a lot of people don't know the real reason why i decided to serve.

i guess its not necessarily one reason, but multiple reasons. 

1. i want to serve a full time mission because honestly, i have always had a feeling i should serve. that thought first crossed my mind in 7th grade at church, when my best friend Jessica Moffat leaned over and asked ,during a lesson on missionary work, "Do you think you will go on a mission?" At the time i told her "i'm thinking about it." I hadn't thought about that moment until this past year. when people asked me if i would go on a mission last year, i would say that i always kind of thought that i might and i really did mean it.

2. i want to serve because i have received an answer that this is where i need to be going with my life. last semester i finally made the decision to get my patriarchal blessing and it could not have come at a more perfect time. i got it a couple of weeks after the big general conference announcement was made and it honestly was the answer to all of my prayers of whether or not i was really going to go. i get the chills just thinking about my patriarchal blessing because right when he told me that the lord desired that i would serve a full time mission, tears started streaming down my face uncontrollably. i was struck with the spirit and i knew for a fact that i had to go.

3. i want to serve a full time mission because i want to be a good example for the people closest to me. a lot of people know that my mom hasn't been active in the church for about ten years now, but this last year on mothers day she told us that she had made the decision to be baptized and take the missionary discussions. i never thought this day would come. i honestly hoped it would but never thought i would actually hear her say those words to us. she needs this right now. she needs my example and i need to show her that this gospel is so important to me that i will spend 18 months of my life just to serve the Lord. i need to be an example to my siblings and cousins. i will be the first grandchild and only the third person from our family to actually serve a mission. i need to show them that this is the right thing to do and that it is SO worth it. 

4. i want to serve a full time mission because i know it will bless my life. not only can i bless others but i know this will bless me more than ever. i thank heavenly father every day that i am able to serve a mission at this time of my life rather than later. i also thank him for putting Zane in my life at this time. if this kid wouldn't have come in to my life when he did, i would not be where i am today and probably would not have been holding a mission call envelope in my hands last friday. he has been such an example to me and i'm thankful for all of his crazy mission stories. i want to go so i can come back and share MY stories with him.

5. i want to serve a full time mission because i want to be a better mother and wife. i have a lot of flaws and growing up to do before the m word (marriage) can even come in to play. i love zane so much and would be the luckiest girl in the world to marry him, but i know its not supposed to happen right now. i know if i serve this mission that i will be able to learn so many valuable things and perfect a lot of my flaws. i have so much learning to do and know that i can grow so much from the next 18 months.

6. i want to serve a full time mission because there is no other opportunity like this. yes, we can go on missions as senior couples, but honestly if you are handed this incredible opportunity, TAKE IT! if you feel any sort of feeling like you need/should go on a mission, then GO! there is no better time then now to go and serve the lord. he needs our help and our testimonies now, not later.

7. lastly, there are obviously so many other reasons why i know i should serve, but the main reason i know i need to serve is to serve my Heavenly Father. he has given me so much and my work these next 18 months will be nothing compared to what he has done for me, but at least i know i will have tried and will hopefully make a small difference in his kingdom. i know there are families and people out there that Heavenly Father has set apart specifically for me to serve. i know i will be able to bless so many lives and my life will be blessed because of this decision to serve.

some of you may ask why i need to serve, why i would do something so mean as to leave my sweet boyfriend for 18 months, or why i would rather not just get married now...but i hope you now understand a little better as to why i have made this decision. 

i could not be in a better place in my life right now.